oom: stables, outside milliways

[scurlock]

It's been more than a few days since the last time Doc actually spoke to Katherine - and the way that they left each other has been biting at his insides, even through the battle and everything else that's gone on since the night he came back in half-frozen to death. Since then, he's gotten the sneaking feeling that she's trying to avoid him. He doesn't quite blame her, though, given the conversation and everything that happened that night - but that doesn't mean that not talking to her isn't driving him nuts.

The morning that Doc makes his way down the stables is cold. There's a fine layer of snow pack on the ground, and his boots crunch against the icy covering as he makes his way out. Normally, on Wednesdays, he sleeps in and doesn't make his way down to the stables until the afternoon.

Not today.

Part of it (him being up so early and headed down the path) is the fact that he hasn't been sleeping very well, and that he wants to work to get his mind off things. Part of it is the fact that he's hoping to catch her.

They need to talk - he knows that much.

He's wearing the lined flannel jacket, thick pants, and boots, with his scarf around his neck and a knit hat pulled own on his head, covering the messy swatch of blond hair. His hands are tucked deep into his pockets, fingers curled into fists inside wool-lined leather gloves. As he nears the stables, he wonders just what it is he's going to say if she is here, this morning.

Doc's thinking on that when he rounds the corner and ducks into the side door, entering the barn.

She's standing a distance away, brushing down a horse - Duncan - and both of them look as if they've been out for awhile in the weather. There's a ruddy bite to her skin from the cold, and a good lather of sweat on the horse's skin, which she's working on.

He nods his head. "Mornin'."

He greets her, simply, as he moves to his desk to pull off his hat.

Comments

[ikissdhimbck]

"I know. I know I did," she murmurs, closing her eyes and remembering that conversation.

"But I wanted you to know that I... I love you."


"I just...Kate I want you to be happy and I can't fault you for whatever that means. I won't. And if...there's someone else you'd rather be with...I just want you to be happy."

She opens her eyes and focuses them on his face. They're bright, and wide, and unflinching in their devotion.

"And I want to be with you."

[scurlock]

Doc smiles.

"Y'just need time."

I would wait ten years. More than ten years.

He pushes himself lightly off the wall and crosses the distance between the two of them, and settles his hand on her shoulder. "I understand. Trust me. I love you too and we will make this work."

[ikissdhimbck]

She holds a hand up between them when he comes near, fingertips at his lips as she searches somewhere within herself for the right words.

"I need to know that you want to be with me first, though. I need to know that and... like you said, I can't know that without more time."

She meets his gaze with those impossibly blue eyes of hers, searching out the gray-green orbs peering down at her.

"I want you to be able to trust me. I ... I need that."

[scurlock]

"I do trust you," he says quietly. "I do. It was never that I didn't trust you, Kate."

Doc sighs quietly and looks at her.

"What d'you need me to do to prove that?"

[ikissdhimbck]

She searches him out a moment longer before lowering her face, fitting her head under his chin as she breathes in and lets it out slowly.

"I don't know," she murmurs, truthfully. "I don't know, Doc. I just... need time, I suppose. I need to feel like I'm here."

Her hand slides over his heart, and there it rests against the fabric of his coat.

"Really here."

[scurlock]

One hand moves to cover the hand that's resting against his coat, and the other moves to wrap around her back, drawing her closer and into his embrace for a hug.

She fits, right here.

"Well then, you got all the time in the world, darlin'," he whispers, before he squeezes her hand gently. "Cause I ain't goin' nowhere."

[ikissdhimbck]

There's a pang in her stomach when he pulls her in close, but she lets him, burying her face against his chest. His warmth and his support are comforting, and through all the emotions still rampaging through her system, a quiet calm settles over her.

It's going to be okay. It was just a misunderstanding. She did all that worrying for nothing, and dragged all those...

She opens her eyes to the sudden thought, squeezing his hand back.

"Doc? Did you tell anybody else about seeing your family when you went home?"

[scurlock]

"I...no, I just talked t'Jack and then Ben a few weeks ago..." he thinks. "I think the night I came back...I may have said somethin' t'Kate 'bout it, she was buggin' me, I don't really remember - I know we didn't talk 'bout it like I did with Jack. I really didn't say that much to Ben. Nobody else...or you talkin' about people outside Bar?"

His hand moves to her back, gloved fingers trailing along her spine, her body hidden beneath that long coat that she's wearing.

"Didn't tell nobody outside, save for my old boss...when I saw him."

[ikissdhimbck]

She shakes her head, pulling back a little so she can see his face again. She lets his hand stay at her back, her hands on his chest, but her shoulders tip away from his embrace.

"No I... I mean. Well, golly, Doc I... I sort of told a few people about it," she admits, timidly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, but I... I was confused, and I needed advice. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so free with your personal life. I... I'm so sorry."

[scurlock]

"Ain't no need to worry...I suppose I shouldn't keep it hidden so much, just ain't somethin' I felt comfortable sharin'. I ain't upset with you for askin' for advice, though...could be good t'know who you did speak to."

Doc shakes his head slightly. He's not upset at all.

"It's alright."

[ikissdhimbck]

"No, I... I wasn't thinking," she insists, relieved that he isn't upset, but embarrassed all the same.

"It was... It was Lady Dem, whom I don't think you know, but she's a real nice lady, I'll just tell her to keep it mum and I know she will," she encourages, blue eyes wide with worry. "And then a gentleman by the name of Billy Kaplan, and Sheriff Pardy..."

Yeah, she was a busy girl that night.

"And I talked with Ben about it, too. ...And Miss Bishop, but she--she didn't..."

She's shaking her head, looking confused.

"She didn't act like she knew anything about it."

[scurlock]

"Well, I don't got no problem with Bill knowing...I've met the Kaplan boy, we've talked a little bit, so that ain't too bad either. I haven't met the Lady, but I trust you not to go spreadin' it about to unsavory sorts."

Ben is Ben, and Kate...

Doc shakes his head. "It was only a word or two. I think she asked if I'd gone back, and I said yes...I don't really remember. It wasn't much, if anything at all."

His hand is still trailing down her back.

[ikissdhimbck]

Her brow is furrowed in thought, watching his eyes as he speaks. She's relieved with every name he 'clears' as being okay, glad that this isn't going to come between them somehow, after everything.

But there's something biting at her, just a tiny nibble at the base of her skull.

"When did you say you spoke with her?" she asks. "The night you got back?"

[scurlock]

"Halloween, yeah."

Doc nods a little, along with his response.

[ikissdhimbck]

"Oh."

That was the night they spoke.

'I should I said somethin' 'bout goin' back. Even if it was just that I couldn't talk 'bout it right then. I was just tired an' tore up 'bout things, wearin' that costume...I didn't want to deal with it.'

She purses her lips together, and nods her head.

"She must have just forgotten. Was a long time back."

[scurlock]

"I wasn't in the mood to talk 'bout it," he says. "Don't think I said more than five words on the subject."

He shakes his head, still a little irked about it but he's not going to let it bother him now, months after the fact.

"She must have."

[ikissdhimbck]

Another nod, eyes lost somewhere deep in thought.

She opens her mouth, and then thinks better of it.

Beat.

"I should probably go."

[scurlock]

He looks down at her, pulling back slightly.

"Home? Or just...go."

[ikissdhimbck]

Her eyes are on that sunlight at the entrance, pooling yellow in the dirt.




"Both."

[scurlock]

Doc nods, slightly, before he pulls her back in for another hug, closing his eyes.

"I love you. I mean that. And I'll be here when y'git back."

[ikissdhimbck]

She doesn't revel in his embrace quite the same as she had before. It makes her a little tense, but she tries not to let it show.

"I know," she murmurs.

[scurlock]

If he notices, he doesn't show it - either he doesn't want to let her know that he notices, or he's not going to acknowledge it himself - and presses a kiss to the top of her head, before he steps back and offers her a small smile.

It may not be his brightest or his strongest...but it's something.

[ikissdhimbck]

The smile she gives him in return is not much different. She can't hold his gaze for long.

"Goodbye, Josiah," she whispers, her voice ever so quiet.

She tries to touch him one last time, but she doesn't quite make it. She lets her hands fall to her sides, and then she turns away from him and walks out.

[scurlock]

"Be seein' you, Kate," he says, as she walks out of the barn.

Doc doesn't turn around, even after her footsteps have gone silent. He just stares for a moment at the wall of the barn, then blinks a few times before he swallows and nods, and glances at the desk.

He has work to do.