scurlock | oom: room 25 / later outside

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oom: room 25 / later outside

After taking care of his morning chores and the conversation that came with it, Doc leads Katherine up to his room, box of donuts and two cups carefully held in his hands.

Once he's opened the door and they've stepped inside, the first thing she'll notice is that he's changed the layout of the room a bit, and his bed has been shoved up against the wall, his desk moved closer to the door. There's a new couch by the windows, with an end table that wasn't there before as well.

"Figured if I was gonna be livin' here I might as well make it less like a hotel room," he offers, by way of explanation, as he closes the door behind them with his foot, but doesn't bother to lock it.

There are books stacked on the desk, but not poetry or literature. History of Medieval England, for one. Several medical texts. There's an empty glass (and half empty bottle of Laphroaig) sitting on the desk as well. Scattered pages of notes. Half finished poems. Nothing but scratched sketches from a bored and frustrated writer's hand.

His bed is roughly made (sheets and blankets pulled up but not tucked in) and there are several other books on the side where another person would sleep. A hard bound selection of Keats is tucked in with a leather bound journal or two.

She'll see, tacked to the wall between the bed and desk, a piece of paper with the poem Jack quoted to him at a Happy Hour a few weeks ago, handwritten in black ink.

On the dresser, there are still the two folded paper cranes, one pink and one brown, but a third, a bright orange (like canned peaches) has joined them. The cask in the corner is covered with a towel, sword and bow and rifle leaning against the wall. There are coat hooks on the wall beside the door -- that black duster, as well as his tan one, and a woolen cloak, hooded and green, that is suitable for hiding among the trees and leaves of Sherwood hang on the pegs.

The footlocker at the end of the bed is covered in cloth, and that sword (not the practice blade, but a finer, sharper weapon) is resting on it, polishing cloth beside it.

Doc crosses the room to the couch and coffeetable, and sets the contents of his hands down on the surface before he leans over to shove one of the windows open, pulling the curtains over it to allow for the morning breeze.

"Sorry 'bout the mess," he offers, before he motions for her to sit while he pulls his coat off, the flannel jacket ending up on the end of the bed.

She'll also notice the end of his bed is missing something familiar.

(His gunbelt is nowhere to be seen.)

It's really not all that horrible, but it's more 'lived in' than she's seen it before.

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Her eyes finally slip from his face when he begins to speak, and she does naught but listen to him.

Pale, smooth fingers grip his calloused ones when he finishes.

She's trying to hold back tears.

"I remember when your word was worth so much..."

Her voice is frail when she speaks, and she doesn't mean to insult him. It's just the way things happened.

She doesn't insult him, and he knows she didn't mean too, but her words cause his stomach to sink like he's been filled with bricks or lead, and his heart isn't far behind.

His face doesn't show anything other than a calm exterior. There is a brief, passing flicker of pain but he blinks it away. Doc swallows, and his voice is quiet. So very, very quiet.

"I understand."

Faith. Hope.

He lied to her, and coming clean didn't work.

more blood on your hands

Doc slowly withdraws his hand from hers and then turns, bowing his head. His elbows rest on his knees, and his fingers card up through his hair to settle on the back of his neck. His eyes are closed.

"I understand."

There's a little more conviction behind it, but not much.

"This place--I--"

She shakes her head and falls silent. Anything she can think to say right now just sounds shallow and useless.

Her hand grows cold when he pulls his away.

Her chin quivers just slightly, knowing she can't take back what she said. Knowing he can't take back what he did. Knowing they can't take back what Milliways and their lives outside have robbed them of.

He could never come back to Green Lake with her: build a life, raise a family, work an honest job.

She could never give up her home for him. For what? Milliways? He can't go back. He has a son and he can't go back...

She sniffles quietly and steadies her voice.

"Should I leave you?"

After what she's said, after all this baggage, maybe he wants to be alone. She stands slowly, waiting.

"Don't, please."

Doc looks up at her. He'll be alright. He just knows the truth, and that's basically that he has to start over, from square one. Scratch. And he's bound and damn determined to build them up again.

"I just got back in from Sherwood," he says. "I could use the company."

He offers her a hint of a smile.

"And I do remember somethin' about you wantin' to see me work with the bow, or the sword, if I ain't mistaken. Perhaps after some breakfast?"

She looks down into his eyes, and at that smile on his face, and can feel his conviction. She offers a timid smile in return, bowing her head just slightly.

"I did say that," she admits quietly.

Friends. They can do this. After a while it won't hurt so damn much. Right?

"A-and I am hungry. I haven't broken my fast yet today."

The donuts get a suspicious glance. They kind of look like round cakes.

"Those are like...pastry things. Or we could go downstairs and get somethin' more proper."

And that would prove to her that Doc is actually eating properly.

If they don't eat the donuts, they'll just get eaten later, probably in the middle of the night when he's too lazy to go downstairs to get a snack, so he doesn't care if they stay on the coffee table.

He stands from the couch and straightens his shirt a little.

"I could use to get changed...meet you downstairs in a few?"

Katherine is by no stretch of the imagination averse to sweets, but given the state of her stomach this morning, the donuts get a subtle scrunch of the nose.

"I think it would do us both some good to eat a proper meal," she says, giving him a look. Yes, that look.

She straightens her own skirts, more out of nervousness than anything, and moves to the bed to retrieve her coat.

"All right," she says, folding the long red fabric over her arm. "Do you prefer a booth or a table, or...?"

This feels weird after such heavy conversation.

"Doesn't matter either way, booth, table, counter at the bar...just someplace where I can sit and see both doors."

He doesn't even realize the words would seem strange to anyone.

(Though if she now takes a look at his bedroom and how it's been arranged, she'll notice from the bed he can see the windows and doorways, and the fact that it's been pushed into the corner means nobody can sneak up behind him. The same with the desk, to an extent, and the location of the couch.)

Doc already is moving to get the door for the lady, as a proper gentleman should.

The words do give her pause, but they're nodded at swiftly.

She imagines if she'd been through half of what Doc has recently, she might have a similar desire.

(And the planned layout of the room is, now, noticed.)

She thanks him for holding the door for her and steps out into the hallway. Though this is Milliways, she still glances around to see if anyone has seen her exit Doc's room. Satisfied she is alone, she makes her way to the bar proper.

There's a table in the corner, snug between two walls, where one can see the wide majority of the eatery if they happen to be seated in the chair closest the corner.

Wisely, Katherine is sitting in the chair opposite, her back to the bar. She's sipping at another cup of tea, but she's taken care to request a pot of coffee as well, which sits steaming in the center of the table, next to an empty mug and a creamer full of milk.

She may join Doc for a cup later on. She hasn't decided yet.

Doc takes the time to shower, very quickly, and then dress in clothes that will work for either showing off sword forms or using the bow -- a long sleeved shirt (only this time it is blue instead of white), which he rolls up to the elbows, and a pair of corduroy jeans (dark brown, with a familiar patch job on one knee), boots, and around his neck he's looped the gift Ella gave him awhile ago (a black cord with a thin piece light-nearly-clear blue glass hanging from it) and tucked it under his shirt.

The sword and bow are left upstairs. He'll fetch them after breakfast, since it's not exactly proper to bring your weapons to the dining table.

He's quick in doing all this, so it's not long before he jogs downstairs, spots her in the corner, and makes his way over. His hair is combed back and still slightly damp, but he didn't bother shaving his beard.

"Perfect," he tells her, as he slides into the chair. "And y'got coffee. Extra perfect."

"I asked Bar how you preferred it," she says evenly, sipping at her tea. "But requested she abstain from adding in the whiskey this time."

She sets her cup down on its saucer with a soft clink.

"I didn't rush you, did I?" she asks, noting the slightly wet hair.

Doc pauses as he's reaching for the pot of coffee, and looks up at her and that even tone. Not to mention the topic.

"Old habits die hard," he offers quietly, as he then resumes pouring a cup of it, and adding just a dash of milk before he stirs it with a spoon.

He shakes his head.

"And no, you didn't. If I try and dry this," he motions up at his hair. "It'll just go all over anyway."

She doesn't say anything more; just looks at him. And she imagines her look says enough.

His use of the word 'habit' isn't exactly comforting, either.

"So you were saying," she says, playing absently with her teacup. "About Sherwood. You went with Will?"

"I needed the break from the bar." And the fact that she wasn't back. "Plus he needed my help to gather some information about tax time, comin' up, so I offered. It's been rainin' a lot, were there just about a week."

Doc slowly draws the mug closer to him, and looks up at her.

"I know," he adds.

She sighs softly.

He looks like a beaten puppy, sitting there.

"Know what?" she prods, with perhaps a hint of concern in those scolding eyes.

"You ain't happy 'bout the whiskey."

He sips the coffee slowly, eyes on her over the rim of the cup. It's hot and nearly burns his tongue, but he'll survive, and he's had much worse.

"Not particularly," she confirms, though her voice is soft and small.

"It's just awful early. But it's not my business."

She looks away from him, somehow managing to catch the eye of a waitrat, who then scurries over.

"No, you're right," he tells her. "It ain't a good habit."

Doc shakes his head.

"Habit I picked up from ridin' long days on the trail. You ain't eager to get up into the saddle when you've been sleepin' on the ground, sometimes a dash'll make you a bit less sore."

When the waitrat comes over, he waits for her to give her order first before he orders his breakfast. Two eggs, 'over-easy' with sourdough toast and bacon, plus a few slices of melon, and a glass of milk.

Her order is slightly more conservative---oatmeal, fresh fruit, and a wedge of cornbread---but she's nonetheless proud of Doc's order as the waitrat scurries off.

"Just as long as you're responsible, Josiah," she says, sipping at her tea again. "I know you're no longer on your medications, but it should go without saying you're not to replace one with another."

"I know," he says, with a serious nod. "And I ain't drinkin' if I take the painkillers. Been followin' Dr. Ford's orders."

It's not long before the waitrat returns with their food.

"So how long's it been for you outside?"

"Good," she nods. And she'll leave that at that, for now.

She considers his question carefully as she butters her cornbread.

"Few months."

56 days.

"Was a while before I found a door."

Wasn't looking for one.

"Fall's almost over, back in Green Lake."

I didn't want to come back.

She neatly avoids his eyes, not wanting him to see the guilt shining there.

She pauses though, before she begins to eat, casting a furtive glance his way.

Doc hasn't yet touched his meal, and his eyes are on hers as he lightly rests his elbows on the table and holds his hands out.

The boys didn't hold hands (hell, Chavez never bowed his head and Steve just didn't give a shit) but for this, it feels right.

"Join me in sayin' a word?"

She glances at his hands, then up at his face one more time before looking down and nodding.

She takes his hands lightly, bowing her head.

"Thank you," she whispers before he starts.

He nods once, a silent 'you're welcome' before he bows his head and speaks.

"Bless, O Lord, this food we are about t'eat; and we pray You, O God, that it may be good for our body and soul. And if there be any poor creature hungry or thirsty walkin' along the road, send them into us, that we can share the food with them, just as You share your gifts with all of us."

He pauses, just a brief, fleeting second before he continues, his voice softer (because it's personal) and his hands tighten just a little around hers as he whispers.

"Dimitte mihi, Deus, dimitte peccata mea. Forgive me, Father."

Edited 2008-09-18 07:33 (UTC)

It's Latin.

Sunday prayers in Green Lake are typically, and traditionally, done in Latin.

So Katherine understands the petition for forgiveness, running her thumb along the heel of his palm before she really has time to think about it.

"Amen," she whispers.

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